I guess I'll never know

When we lived in San Francisco our house was walking distance to the main shopping district in our neighborhood. As a new mother I spent countless mornings and afternoons walking up and down 24th Street. My twins were often dressed similar and sometimes I would be pushing my double stroller while also tugging on the leash of our basset hound, Kirby. I imagine I stood out to at least a few of the dozens of people I would run into on my walks.

One weekend afternoon Jay and I were walking down 24th Street to grab some lunch and we passed a busy burger joint with a big patio out front. As we passed by, a young girl sitting at one of tables pointed to me and said, "that's the woman...!" I didn't hear the rest, but it didn't sound like she was going to say, "that's the woman with the adorable babies." By the time it registered that she was talking about me and I asked my husband if he'd heard anything, it felt strange to go back.

That was 6 or so years ago and every once in a while I wonder what it was about me that she felt she needed to point out to her friends. I guess I'll never know.

Sunday's Simple Pleasures XIV

Today I'm bringing back a little series I liked to call Sunday's Simple Pleasures. I used to post about simple things in my life that made me happy. On Sundays. Get it? It's simple really.

You can check out the old posts here.

Today's simple pleasure is my drive to and from school each weekday. We've been having some tough mornings lately. Everyone is crabby, no one wants to get dressed, we're always running late, you know how it goes. But with the changing leaves and colder weather the drive has been so pretty lately. The other day I had to pull over as bright yellow leaves were literally raining down on the car. The kids started counting them and we hopped out to collect a few.

Here's a few photos of our drive... don't worry I didn't take any of these while the car was actually moving.

It almost makes me feel better about not being able to walk to school.

My three favorite months of the year

I've made some comments recently about how much I love winter. And I do. I really do. But keep in mind that I live in California. Winter for us is probably more like early fall for most of the country who have actual seasons. I mean if the temperature dips below 50 degrees it the lead story on the 11 o'clock news.

However, as I mentioned in my previous post. I like cold weather. Temperatures above 80 degrees just suck the life out of me. I feel sluggish and unmotivated to do anything other than sit on the couch and drink ice tea.

Temperatures in the 70's are nice. I like mild weather. But being inside when it's so pleasant outside gives me an odd sense of guilt. How could I possibly spend any time inside folding laundry or organizing closets when it's so! gorgeous! outside!!

I know it's strange, but I am a machine when it's cold and rainy. I love being inside my warm cozy house when the weather is nasty out. I've gotten so much done around the house the past week or so. I like cold weather clothes like shoes with closed toes you can wear with socks, scarves, long sleeves and jeans. I like cold weather food like soups, stews my husband's chicken curry. I like playing at the park or going for a walk when the air has just a bit of a chill and our noses turn slightly pink. I like picking the kids up from school in the rain and coming home to dry off and drink hot cocoa with marshmallows. I love listening to the rain from the warm, snuggly bed and reading a good book. I love days like this more than anything.

As soon as my kids ring the last doorbell on October 31st, I get giddy. November makes me happy. I start planning what I want to cook for Thanksgiving. What's not to love about Thanksgiving... a parade, a game of football, a meal you spend hours preparing for, giving thanks for all that we have and just enjoying family. There is no pressure to buy presents, just sharing a meal with those you hold most dear.

Once Thanksgiving is over I gear up for Christmas. I am one of those annoying people who plays holiday music non-stop in the month of December, insists on getting a live tree and wears a tacky jingle bell necklace every day. I love backing things that I only make once year and the day the mint Ores show up in the store is the highlight of my year.

And then there's January. It's the month of my birthday, ski trips and usually lots of rain storms. But more than that I love that January feels like a fresh start. A chance to start over, a renewal of sorts.

What is your favorite month (or months) of the year?

The Bad Norwegian Redux

I failed at NaBloPoMo already. I didn't post yesterday. Will I be kicked out of NaBloPoMo?? Will AnyMommy take my link off her site? I hope not because I am going to post twice today. In other words, I'm cheating just a little bit.

However, I am cheating a little because the post below in an old one. But I don't think I had any readers besides my sister back then, so it's most likely new to you! And it is sort of a preview about the post I'm working of for later today. It's all about how much I love the months of November, December and January.

Originally posted on May 15, 2008:

Mr. Mint says I am a poor excuse for a Norwegian. I don't eat seafood and I don't know how to ski. But all Norwegians self-destruct if the temperature creeps above 75 degrees. On that one I am a true, full-on Norwegian. I do not like the heat. I melt like a toddler who skips their nap and stays up way past their bedtime.

WTF??? As if I was not cranky enough all day in this 90+ degree weather, it's almost 90 frickin' degrees and 8 frickin' o'clock at night. Again I say WTF?? It really is a good thing I do not live in the desert because I would be one bitchy lady. Oh how I long for my house in San Francisco with the view of the fog rolling over Twin Peaks. I'm off to get a popsicle and some ice water.

Revelation: THIS, believe it or not, is one of the very best things about being a parent

The day did not start out well. Raj wanted to bring a giant lego tower to school for sharing and you can imagine what happened every time we tried to gingerly carry it to the car. I almost had it in the car when Sejal inadvertently knocked it over. I didn't just snap at her, I yelled. Then I had two kids in tears, 5 minutes to make the 10 minute drive to school and no coffee.

Then there was the usual running around here and there: dropping kids off, picking them up, asking them to put their shoes away, get changed into clothes for dance class, hurry up and finish your snack because we've got three days of homework to catch up on. I spent 45 minutes freezing at the park because I remembered a jacket for everyone else but myself.

We rushed home from dance class and the park only to have half an hour to get to the 2nd grade musical and nothing for dinner. I tried unsuccessfully to make a simple frozen pizza but the damn oven keeps turning itself off randomly. I finally just have everyone a piece of toast with peanut butter, combed my two 2nd graders hair and gave them the lip gloss they had been begging for all day. Then there was the mix up with my mom about when and where to meet, and more tears when the girls thought she might miss the program. I didn't feel like sitting in the school cafeteria for the next 45 minutes with my no longer napping four year old squirming around on my lap and pulling at my jewelry and my hair.

But then for five seconds each my daughters were the stars of the South H Elementary production of "Americans All." They confidently and delivered the lines they had been practicing for over a month with smiles. Their little brother stood up and cheered for each of them. Those ten seconds made the whole day worth it.

How many is too many?

OK, I am honestly not knocking Alltop or anyone who is listed there. It's a great site and I use it occasionally. But the Mom's page doesn't make sense to me. I tried to count how many blogs they had listed on there, but stopped counting after I reached 200. Is there anyone out there who isn't listed on Alltop yet?

I get that there are a zillion mom blogs out there and 200 really is a pretty small representation, but I think I'd find the site more useful if they listed the top 50 or even the top 100. Again, I'm not trying to discount the cool factor of being listed there... they just seem to have gone a little overboard on the mom's page. Just a thought.

House Beautiful (well not really, not yet anyway)

It's the number one question I get lately. How are things going with the remodel? "It's going well!" is always my answer. Sometimes people will push for more or make some comment about major remodels testing a marriage. But to be honest?? I am not terribly stressed out by the whole thing and although we've had a few moments of marital non-bliss, we generally agree on most things. Jay and I could walk into any furnishings store or flip through any light fixture catalog and nine times out of ten we will pick out the same thing. It helps keep things moving along smoothly.

Since we've done this before, we have a better idea of what we're doing. There are things that annoy me about living in our little purple rental house, but it's not so bad. The extra ten minutes it takes to get to school is painful. But I know it's all temporary and we will be back in our beloved white house at some point. What I miss most though...

My yard. Good golly I love that yard.

It's been fun to watch our house get ripped apart and new, bright rooms start to form where there was once small, dark somewhat smelly rooms. Here are some highlights:

My kitchen has gone from this:

What you can't see through that doorway is a laundry room and a bedroom that used to be maid's quarters that will become a much bigger kitchen and sorely needed family room.

To this:

To this:

And this is how it looks today, transformed into a kitchen/family room:

We'll eat family meals in this bright little nook:

I'm sure this will be the first of many photos taken in front of this fireplace in our family room:

And this piece of loveliness will be my kitchen island:

Our formal living room before:

And here's how it looked a few weeks ago:

It has a ceiling now and the new and improved doors should be installed soon. This is a really big room and I don't think we'll be able to afford to furnish it until our kids are off at college, but we plan on making the fireplace more dramatic and I suppose I will have to replace that rug.

My kid's bathroom before:

And a few weeks ago:

I wish I had saved a couple pieces of the yellow tile.

My master bathroom before:

A few weeks ago:

And here's how it looks today:

These photos are much more interesting with models no? Look how small she looks in that shower.

Then there is this area behind our driveway that we never, ever use.

The original plan was to build and outdoor kitchen back here, but that may have changed. It will have a spectacular outdoor fireplace where I am sure many marshmallows will be roasted.

The biggest transformation so far has been our attic. It deserves it's own post though so I'll save that for another day. I think that's enough pictures for one day. All of our tiles should start coming in over the next couple of weeks and I'm sure once they starting installing them my updates will be much more interesting.

I like to challenge myself or I like to set myself up for failure

I've (belatedly) decided to participate in NaBloPoMo for the month of November (sorry Issa!!). If you aren't familiar with NaBloPoMo, it's simple really. You post every day for one month. I did it once before, and I'm hoping that posting every day will re-ignite my enthusiasm for blogging.

I'm back-posting this so it appears as if I actually posted this on 11/2. Yes, that is cheating a little bit. Whatever. Hopefully I'll make it to the end of November.

Cash for Kit Kats

So I offered my each of my kids $25 in exchange for their bag of Halloween candy. I got the idea from my Sunday morning walking partner. Speaking of my walk, this has nothing at all to do with offering my kids money for their candy, but look at the pictures I took with my iPhone during my walk this morning.

I love living here.

Anyway. In the past my kids have eaten their weight in candy the first couple of days after Halloween and then promptly forgotten all about it. I happen to think the more restrictions you place on your kids food choices, the more you're setting yourself up for creating bad eating habits. There are better ways to teach you kids about healthy food choices. Like involving them in shopping, reading labels, cooking and modeling good eating habits. That's why I do all my pigging out while they are at school or after they go to bed.

I was curious to see who would take the deal if the cash was on the table right next to their crack candy. Four year old Raj was having none of it. His immediate answer was "no thanks" and he never wavered. The only thing that kid loves more than candy is... well... um... hmmmmm... well, nothing.

Seven year old Jayne thought it over for a few minutes, then spent the next two hours trying to negotiate. The deal was finally set at $20 and five pieces of candy of her choice. Even after we agreed on the terms she was trying to work the system. "I licked this piece and I don't like it, can I trade it for something else?" as she tries to hand me a half eaten Laffy Taffy. Then she realized she could buy a lot of candy with $20, so we had to add an amendment to our contract that she was not allowed to use the money for candy.

Seven year old Sejal had a terrible time. She agonized over what to do. "What would you do Daddy?" "I just don't know what to do Mommy." The decision was clearly tearing her apart. We talked about what she could buy with the money, how much sugar was in all that candy and how it wasn't a healthy choice to eat it all. After much thought and consideration she decided to take the same deal as her sister. She chose her five pieces, but it was a painful process. We spent the next hour or so talking about how she'd done the right thing.

Now I suppose the girls will do their best to talk their brother into sharing his stash. I'll be shocked if they are successful. It will take Herculean effort to get that kid to part with his candy.

I'm not sure what to do with all the left over treats. Someone suggested donating it to a shelter. But that just doesn't feel right. Someone else suggested taking it somewhere that will send it to soldiers over seas. But do they really need candy? I have no idea. Throwing it away seems wasteful. Any ideas?

Highs and Lows

Recent Highlights:

• Took the kids to the dentist and no one had any cavities. The dentist actually said, "great job Mom!"
• We had a dinner party and made one of Christy's recipes. Oh my stars, it was delicious. We cut the butter and cream in half for the sauce since my husband is on a health kick, and it was still divine. In the words of Little Pea, "Yum, Yum, Extra Yum!"
• Last night I made these for dinner and all three of my kids raved about it. It may be the one and only time they have willingly eaten mushrooms. The girls even asked for the leftovers in their lunchbox.
• My friend and I met for a walk on Sunday morning and were so caught up in our conversation we ended walking almost six miles when we only meant to walk for three.
• I love fall... not as much as I love winter, but fall is a close second. The weather is finally cooling off and it makes me so happy. Also, I'm feeling a little smug that my children's Halloween costumes have been ready for weeks and they do not involve face make-up or sparkly princess high heels (hooray!!!).
• I recently ordered a DVD of all 46 School House Rock songs. My kids now claim zero in their hero, can recite the preamble of the US Constitution and can turn an adjective into an adverb simply by adding -ic or -ish.

Recent Lowlights:

• My kid's teeth are so crowded that there is literally a sliver of space for the adult teeth to grow in where the baby teeth have fallen out. The dentist mentioned pulling a couple of baby teeth in a few months to give them some more space. As soon as we were in the car, the questions started. After school the paranoia over the possible teeth pulling continued complete with tears and pleading not to have any teeth pulled. I have a feeling this will continue for the next six months.
• I made a Thai/squash/spinach soup tonight for dinner and it was terrible. Blech! I couldn't even pretend to like it so the kids would try it. Thankfully we had baked potatoes for a back up.
• I forgot to put the mushroom lasagna left overs in the girls lunch boxes and they were seriously disappointed with their salami sandwiches and were not afraid to let me know.
• My legs are so sore and my house has a lot of stairs. I really need to get more regular exercise.
• I am already starting to freak out a little about trick-or-treating. Trying to keep track of my three children in the dark on very crowded streets TOTALLY STRESSES ME OUT. Last year, we lost track of one and it was the worst 10 minutes of my life. I'd stay home and pass out candy, except we get exactly zero trick-or-treaters at our house so we venture one neighborhood over. I'm thinking of outfitting the children with those little chips they put in pets to keep track of them.
• Hey! My son is obsessed with Interjections! He sings it all day long and asks for it repeatedly in the car. Feel my pain:

Wordless Wednesday: Lunch Date

My lunch date was having a bad hair day... but I didn't mind because he always shares his grilled cheese.

Reading List

You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend. ~Paul Sweeney

Have you ever felt that way about a book? You're so emotionally invested in the story that you just don't want it to end? If not, I feel sorry for you.

I've always loved books. My mom took me to the library often when I was child and our house of was full of all kinds of books. Book like Swimmy, Mr. Popper's Penguins, Charlotte's Web, The Little Prince, Harold and the Purple Crayon and The Littles were among my favorites. For a while every time we went to the library I would simply trade one Leo Leoni book for another and renew the Sound of Music soundtrack. After the maximum number of renewals, my mom finally bought me my very own Sound of Music record.

As I got older I read everything ever written by Beverly Cleary. Then like every other junior high girl in the '80's I scanned all the Judy Blume books for the dirty parts. I also read Animal Farm, To Kill a Mocking Bird and Black Beauty in junior high. Some time during high school I became fascinated with true crime books. I read Fatal Vision and Helter Skelter among others. My mom never batted an eyelash. She bought me whatever book struck my fancy and bought me others she thought I might like.

All through college I worked in the university library. It was the perfect job. I didn't mind shelving books, I got to know the librarians and I kept a mental list of all the novels I wanted to read once I had time to read something that wasn't assigned. After I graduated I read novels like crazy and I go on and on and on forever about books I've enjoyed over the years. I once called in sick to my job on a rainy day because I was so taken with a book I was reading. I sat on my couch all day and finished it in one sitting.

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb

But there was one book that I truly got lost in as a kid. I don't remember how I came across it in my elementary school library sometime in the 3rd grade, but The Little Bookroom by Eleanor Frajeon captivated me. My father had just passed away and I was still adjusting to a new city and a new school. That book became my escape. The stories were more than just fairy tales, they were bright colored pictures I painted in my head and a world so different from the one I was living.

I don't know how I happened to come across it on Amazon a couple of weeks ago, but I clicked "Add to My Cart" without a second thought and a couple of days later...

I was so excited to start sharing the stories with my own kids. I started with "Young Kate" as it was always one of my favorites. I don't know if they really got it, the language is still a little bit sophisticated for them, but they asked for more. Re-reading The Little Bookroom now is like a trip back in time. The stories are still bright colored pictures in my head. But of course they have a whole new dimension for me now 30 some years later. I would recommend this treasure of a book for readers young and old.

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. ~Anna Quindlen, "Enough Bookshelves," New York Times, 7 August 1991

** I want to thank everyone for your comments on my previous post. I left it up for way too long. Things have calmed down I have calmed down and I've had a lot of laughs with my kids the past week. Your comments mean the world to me.

A very poorly written late-night post, but it comes straight from my heart

It's been kind of a crappy week. My husband is out of town. When my kids were very small, his frequent travels would send me into panic mode and I would whine and complain about how horrible it was to take care of three kids 24/7 completely on my own. And it was no picnic. It was lonely and exhausting. But I survived.

Now that they are a little older, we have our routines and school, and his travels are easier for me to deal with. Yes, it's still a little lonely, but for the most part I can manage just fine when he's away. And there is an upside. I actually like spending evenings by myself sometimes. I don't have to call him five times asking if he'll be home for dinner. I can watch whatever I want on TV and I get the whole bed to myself.

I'm also much less bitter about the whole situation. I've come to realize that traveling for work is no picnic either. I used to say I would kill to spend 5 hours alone on an airplane with someone to fetch me drinks. But after a couple of recent flights, I've changed my tune. Airline travel is not really all that glamorous and while he is enjoying dinners out and the like, he's also in non-stop meetings and dealing with delayed flights while I'm on the couch eating Chocolate Chex cereal and reading blogs. He misses so much with the kids too, and I know that's hard.

This is his second straight week on the road and he called me to tell me there is more travel coming up in the near future. And as much as I know I can manage on my own... it's been rough and I'm dreading having him gone again. Being the only parent in a house with three kids for five days has taken a toll.

Ever since Sejal and Jayne have been back in school, we've been struggling to find a routine that works. Second grade has brought with it a lot of homework and we haven't quite found our groove yet. Between helping with homework, after school activities, fixing and cleaning up dinner, baths and reading there is barely enough time for actually eating dinner. I can't do it all on my own. I need some support. I need someone to help with homework while I cook. I need someone else to tell the kids to put their shoes away because even I am tired of hearing myself bark out commands all the time. I need five minutes to myself to use the bathroom.

My nerves are frayed. I have not been very nice to my children. Yesterday was bad. After finally getting our homework done and cleaning up downstairs we headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Waiting at the top of the stairs for me was practically every pair of shoes I own thrown all over the hallway. Apparently, when the girls ventured upstairs earlier with their playdate, I needed to say "no shoes" along with "no make-up and no dress-up." I said, "what the f#@%!" In front of all three of my kids. I felt defeated; defeated by a pile of shoes. I didn't want to make them clean it up. I wanted to be done. I wanted to crawl into bed with my book. I was pissed.

I've been edgy and cranky. Tonight I was helping Jayne to write six complete sentences, the last of her homework, and she was stalling. It was already past their bedtime and I could feel myself growing tense. I wanted to say, "just f#%@ing write a sentence!!!!" But I bit my tongue, hard. It didn't matter though, I couldn't hide my frustration from her. I had to choke back the tears when she asked me if I was annoyed with her.

I often wonder what they will remember from this time in our lives. Will they remember that their mom used swear words and seemed to snap at every little thing? Why couldn't I just pour myself a glass of wine, take a deep breath say to myself it doesn't really matter if they go to bed a half an hour late tonight. She'll remember that you helped her write those damn sentences and you told her you were proud of her. But instead I rushed them through their baths and came downstairs and cried.

I haven't been a great mom these past two weeks and I can't seem to just stop and take a breath. My kids deserve better. After I sat downstairs by myself for a short while I went back upstairs to tell them I loved them and apologize for how cranky I've been. They were all sound asleep, but I found this on my pillow.

Translation: To Mom, I love you as a mom. You are the best mom in the world. You are nice. Here are some things I like about you. 1. You are the best cooker. 2. You are a nice helper. 3. You are (good at) present giving. 4. You have good ideas. I love you. Love, Macy (known here as Sejal).

It made me feel better and worse all at the same time. Maybe, just maybe, it's OK to have an off week. Maybe it's OK to let them see me struggle and say f*#@. Maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right. At least I know I give good presents. I love them. I love them like fucking crazy and maybe they know that. Maybe they know that even when I'm not at my best.

I sure hope so.

Dinner. It's What's for Dinner

I like to cook. I don't consider myself an exceptional gourmet chef or anything, but I can hold my own in a kitchen and I enjoy it. While I was still a young, working girl I had all these visions of the fantastic meals I would cook every day when I was a stay at home mom and had so much more time to cook. Ha! I wish I could go back in time and tell that girl to cook the fantastic meals before her freezer was full of frozen waffles and chicken nuggets and dinner better be ready by the time Arthur is over or there's going to be a lot of whining.

But even though I don't have two free hours before dinner time to cook elaborate meals, I still enjoy it. I have definite ideas about how I feed my family and how food fits into our lives. My family food philosophy is not the point of this post though.

As much as I like to cook, deciding what we will eat for 21 meals a week can drive me insane sometimes. It's just too much pressure to decide what the four other people in my little family will eat for each meal. Most of the time, my husband is no help. I can't imagine why, but when I call him at 7:30am wondering what he wants for dinner it seems to be the last thing on his mind.

So I decided to enlist the help of my kids and I'm happy to report it was a great success. I let each of them choose what we would have for dinner one night a week. Their choices surprised and delighted me, so I decided to share the recipes here. They loved looking through my cook books picking something out and helping me cook on their night. Be sure to let me know if you try any of these Little Norwindian approved meals. I'm not sure if I will be doing this every week though since I asked my son what he felt like for dinner tonight and he answered root beer floats and plums.

Sejal's choice: Tortilla Chip Chicken with Savory Slaw & Avocado Dip (recipe posted at Eat, Drink and Blog)

Jayne's choice: Greek Rental* Lentil Soup**

1.5 cups dried red lentils

3 T. olive oil

2 cups onion, diced

1 T. garlic, minced

1 T. minced fresh oregano

1 bay leaf

1/4 cup lemon juice

6 cups vegetable broth

2 cups tomatoes, seeded, diced

4 cups fresh spinach, chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Soak lentils in 8 cups of boiling water in a large bowl. Cover and let stand 20 minutes, then drain and set aside. Saute onion and garlic in oil in a large pot over medium-high heat until soft, 4-5 minutes. Add oregano and bay leaf; cook 1 minute. Deglaze with lemon juice and reduce until nearly evaporated. Add broth and tomatoes, bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer 10 minutes. Remove bay leaf. Stir in lentils and simmer until lentils are soft but not mushy, about 10 minutes. Add spinach and cook 1 minute to wilt. Season with salt and pepper.

Raj's choice: Vietnamese Noodle Soup**

For the meatballs:

1/2 lb. ground turkey

3 T. scallions, minced

2 T. chopped fresh cilantro

1 T. fresh ginger, minced

1 T. garlic, minced

1 T. soy sauce

1 t. chili garlic sauce

1/4 t. each kosher salt and pepper

For the soup:

1/4 lb. rice stick noodles

6 cups chicken broth

2 T. soy sauce

1 T. fresh ginger, minced

1 T. sugar

1 t. chili garlic sauce

1 t. fish sauce

1 cup napa cabbage, cut into 1 inch ribbons

1/2 cup carrot, julienned

1 T. fresh lemon juice

1/2 t. toasted sesame oil

Combine all meatball ingredients in a bowl; scoop into teaspoon-size balls. Brown in 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a nonstick skillet over medium-high heat (do not cook through). Transfer meatballs to a plate; chill until ready to use.

Soften noodles in boiling water until pliable, about 15 minutes. Drain, separate clumps with your fingers, and set noodles aside. Simmer broth, soy sauce, ginger, sugar, chili garlic sauce and fish sauce in a large pot. Add meatballs and gently simmer just until cooked through. Off heat, stir in noodles, cabbage, carrot, lemon juice and sesame oil. Serve right away.

*I guess since we are still living in a rental house, Raj kept calling this Rental Soup instead of Lentil Soup. It was kind of funny. Speaking of our rental house... there are big things, exciting things, crazy things happening over at our remodel project. Pictures and an update soon, I promise.

**These two recipes are adapted from from Cuisine At Home recipes. It is by far one of my favorite cooking magazines. They did not pay me to say that. We have made countless recipes from their magazines and cook books and have very rarely been disappointed.