This past summer during our annual trip to
Bass Lake, we took a day trip into Yosemite. If you've never been to Yosemite, let me just tell you you're missing out. Even the famous
Ansel Adams photos don't really compare to seeing it in person. Sorry Ansel.
While the valley floor is gorgeous, I happen to believe anything really worth seeing in Yosemite you have to hike to. The first time we took the kids to Yosemite, we hiked to
Bridalveil Falls. I use the term hike very loosely here. Bridalveil Falls is not really a true hike. It probably took us 10 minutes to reach the falls. The waterfall was more of a trickle that year thanks to a pretty anemic year of rainfall. This year we wanted something more. My kids are used to long walks/hikes, but even I was skeptical when my husband suggested we try the
Mist Trail.
Jay and I hiked this trail years ago. We went a little bit beyond Nevada Falls and it took us the better part of a day. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being a stroll in the park and 10 being a 30 mile hike straight uphill, I would say it's about a five. It's a steep climb, but the views are amazing. Of course, we knew the kids wouldn't make it the seven mile round trip to Nevada Falls, but we thought we'd try the 3 mile round trip hike to Vernal Falls.

It was hot, August day. There was
some a lot of whining along the way and we took tons of water/snack breaks. But we made it. I was so incredibly proud of my kids. They encouraged each other along the way and took turns with the walking stick we found at the beginning of the trail.
They were amazed by the waterfalls and so proud of themselves. "Wasn't it worth it?" I asked. It was a lovely Norwindian family moment and we rewarded ourselves with huge ice cream cones when we made it back down. I wish I had a photo of us at Vernal Falls, but they kids were wiped out and this was the best I could do.
Seriously. This is what most of photos look like.
Lovely, no? Notice how the falls aren't even in the background? But we were really happy, I swear.
This is what the falls look like if you're interested.
I've been thinking a lot lately about that hike and the lesson it taught us.
Recently I walked into my daughter's classroom to pick her up for a dentist appointment and I noticed she looked like someone had just told her that her bunny died. As soon as she caught sight of me, she started to cry. It was only much later that she told me the little girl who sits next to her (who happens to be a bit of a bully), told her that she was stupid for not knowing some math thing because it was sooooo easy. My first instinct was to ask her teacher to move her to a new seat. But then I thought, what will that really teach her. Wouldn't it be better for me to teach her some snappy comebacks or how to soldier on when someone tells you that you can't do something?
The past weekend there was a lizard trapped between our screen door and sliding glass door. We took some pictures before setting the little fellow free and each of my daughters decided to write a little story about the lizard to share with their classmates. When they finished I told them both how fantastic and detailed I thought their stories were, but they would have to re-write them because their handwriting was terrible. One of them immediately started pouting and told me that I must not love her (her exact words). It took her hours to recover from the criticism. I only wish I was kidding. It was painful for both of us, but I can't stop telling her what I think only to save her feelings. How do I teach her that just because I tell her I know she can do better does not mean I don't love her?
Also this past weekend we decided to fire up the Wii. It's a been a while since we've played and the kids were beyond excited. One of my daughters was racing with my son on Mario Kart. The race started before she realized that she was the car at the top of the screen and not the one on the bottom. By the time she figured it out, my son was well on his way to smoking her. This did not go over well with the older sister. She threw her controller down and sat on the couch and sobbed. When that didn't get anyone's attention, she threw a blanket over the TV which stopped the game. Not cool. Sometimes the start of the race is unfair, but that does not mean you can sabotage the game for everyone else.
I normally pick my son up from preschool at 11:45am. On Mondays I need him to stay at school for lunch bunch since I am in my daughter's classroom until 12pm. He has always disliked lunch bunch. In the past I've not really made him go. If I couldn't make it to pick him up I'd arrange for a play date or have my mom pick him up and take him out to lunch. But this year I figured there is no reason why he can't stay at school for lunch bunch. He will be starting kindergarten next year and will have to be at school for lunch every day, so he may as well get used to it. So far he's had a mixed reaction to me putting my foot down about lunch bunch. But today he did not want to stay at all. I fought the urge to call my mom, and just matter-of-factly told him he was staying and that was that. He then told me he would not be eating his lunch. Sure enough, when I picked him up he had barely touched his lunch, but devoured it as soon as we got home.
What does all this have to do with our hike? Well, I believe in teaching my kids early that life is not always easy and comfortable. But making it through the tough times and facing the uncomfortable-ness head on is what makes us stronger, better people. I've talked to them often since that hot, August day about how lucky they are they got to go on that hike. Yes, it was hard. But we were in it together and the view from the top was so worth it.
It seems strange to say this, but I want them to make mistakes, to endure a little disappointment or failure and really feel it. The more they learn to deal with it while they are seven, seven and yes, even four, the better prepared they will be later on.
I have to fight daily against my instinct to want to fix everything for them, to carefully arrange their lives so nothing is difficult or uncomfortable for them. Because I know in my heart that would be doing them a disservice. Sometimes we have to deal with a bully, take criticism, lose the race or do something we don't want to do. But it's those experiences that help us learn and grow, that make us who we are.
Of course I don't want their lives to be filled with obstacles. But I want them to learn that our mistakes and failures are a valuable part of life. I want them to know that there are things in life that are worth making sacrifices and working hard for. I don't want them to be afraid to tackle their troubles. I will always be here to pick them up when they need me and cheer them on when they think they can't make it through the rain.
There are times in life when the only way to experience true beauty, is to feel a little pain (hello childbirth!). And I will most certainly be with them to enjoy the view from the top of whatever mountain they choose to climb.
And I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh, I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned
I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned-Pink, Crystal Ball